A friend said that in the beginning of your young adult years, things aren't working out as you planned.
well, at least you only feel that way.
the truth is how can you perceive it. if you think you are successful in your super-awsome-fantastic-21 well, think again. lots of insecurities you'll find. the path you're going through, not so smooth as you have planned.
I feel that way, yes. but guys, don't deny the truth that YOU also feel that way.
issues are coming through your days whether you liked it or not. it is how to face it, not reject it. I made mistakes. I rejected the whole idea of problems and issues. and to get away with it, I tried to just...run away. I never ever think myself as a coward, until now, I realize how coward I am.
those problems I face every single day is like an endless war.
a friend said that a matter doesn't have to be complicated. well, my friend you are so totally wrong I can chocked you to death (kidding). my friend always sees things from the math point of view, which 2+2 is 4. the fact is....in our daily life, 2+2 can emerge into x+2y+10z.
what the hell... is that, right?
I tell you that my friend, if I wanted to make my life simple, might as well I can just sit around and watching TV or twittering about the latest gossip of Kpop or whatever.
complicated is to think that your life is not just like a train stopping by at each station and move on to next on and keep on going to the same route every single day and night (if you know what I mean). life is to take meaning every single thing you do and forgive anything you've done wrong, also...learn.
I learn soooooo much in this life and that's not including being a person who exists in campus...
many people think that after they join those committees and organizations their life could be soooo much cooler and advancing to another level. well think again. I know that you guys are sooo pumped up with everything you guys do: the talking, the meeting, the meeting, the proposals, the events...blablabla. I. get. bored. with. all. you guys doin....puhlesse..
HEY. that's not all y'll... after you do all the talking and stuff, is it anything going to get better? yeah.. totally get better....
..... in 1000 years later.
perhaps I'm a hater right now. gloomy in somewhat a life that makes me think that the choices I made is...eating me alive. yes, I've learned so many things that I am so shocked until I have this traumatic life that make me stuck in 2011. well, I gain a precious gift that anyone...in this world want to have it....but also...pain. in my ass and in my chest, pounding endlessly like hell is rotting inside my brain.
I'm 21, I keep my life to myself so I don't want anyone interfere with whatever happening with my soul or my body or whatever I do...except I let them in.
Alone is the best medicine. But sometimes....friends can give you comfort (hope so).
Senin, 20 Januari 2014
very late, but dear readers, I really really want to relive this experience. At least I can write this down on my blog. I've been eager to post this adventure on my blog but I haven't got the chance to do it. So....here it goes....
another dream come true...
|WELCOME TO VIANNA DE CASTELLO, PORTUGAL, beautiful small town with many historical building:||AWSOME!!|
|Me and Ayu are crazy imitating the statue of dancing. The statue is a symbol of happiness, Portugal Dance.|
|THIS IS US, ANGSANA PRABALA 1. We took picture outside the house of dance from group of Vianna de Castello, Portugal, Perre. We live here for about 1 week and they've been nothing but nice and caring :")|
|-nothing to say- except my anti-badai eyelashes.....hurts!|
|With my Eneng Ayu :"") We look like Bond Girls with Indonesian traditional outfit ;9 (khacinggaa)|
|With my Eneng Ayeng and Eneng Ayu :"") (costumes from left: Javanese male dance costume, Minang traditional costume, Betawi traditional dance costume)|
|this is Santo Inho parteey houseeee. HAHA. Nggak deng. This is some kind of Portugal restaurant which serve many kind of dish also (the best part) is...you get to folk-dancing after getting drunk.|
|One of the room in Santo Inho Restaurant|
|We (Me and Puser) are so proud of our nationality....and so proud wearing Kalimantan Traditional costume with my fellow dancers from Peru. They are super awsome too.|
|Mas Dony Yoshinda, our dance trainer that made us dance like bunch of crazy people.|
|Team Girls of Angsana Prabala :) (from left: Puser, Mila, Ayu, Prilly, Chyntia, Ayu Beany, Nanditta, Vina, Laksita. Bottom: Saskia, Dania, Me and Syifa)|
|Yeah, me in front of the house, simple and homy...(I look sleepy)|
|The silly orchestra team wearing traditional Javanese man costume (left: Audy (girl), Ayeng (girl), Vinda (...girl), Tito (the only boy in this picture))|
|I loveeeee Mexican traditional costume!! The background is sooo beautiful. It was the day of our performance. I don't remember what day we have performed...|
|The Greece girls. I love their costumes! I want to borrow one!! I actually know them, but have forgotten their name hehe sorry...|
|My LO. He's always been charming. (I also forgot his name. I think I'm having an early alzheimer)|
|The last day of our performance in Vianna de Castello. Balloons everywhere!!|
|Yeah, there is she. Our boss: Nanditta, waving like there's no tomorrow. Yes, definitely.|
|The aftershow photoshoot. Blessed :)|
|She's one of the host of Perre Dance Group and also.....super nice and very kind.... I really miss her :) Oh yeah, this is the day when we held a lunch party, a kind of farewell to the dance group :""( awww..|
|Why the hell I put this picture in my blog??? (Agung and Vinda)|
|Philippe, a friend that I will never forget. He's young and handsome, one of the dancer of Perre. He's so nice he made a bracelet for all of us...|
|Its time for us to move out from Vianna de Castello.... Next city.... SANTAREM, PORTUGAL|