Langsung ke konten utama

Do I Have A Life?



me, my teacher and my classmates having a great time eating cake, being narcisst, working our projects and just having FUN around our Art Studio (1st Semester,2010)


in the making of Architecture Interior Exhibition: Wondrous Art Trip,
December 2010



I kept thinking what my life is all about right now. Do I have a life? Do I have a destiny to fulfill? Or I just keep mingling with some nonsense things every single day, and making some nonsense imaginations in my head? I keep wondering what my life could be in the future.
Actually I realize when I found out with this 'undefined problem' or 'harsh problem'. My head is swirling with this problem every single day and it really disturbing. Every thing I do is always remind me of that problem and I was like thinking 'hey, you gotta stop thinking about this and start to move on. well, yeah its a big deal, but come on, if you just kept thinking about this all over again your LIFE is going to get no-fucking-where!'

Yeah, what's life without purpose? what's life without something or someone to be a motivation for me? well, that's what I'm thinking right now. My life is going to be stuck, hide and dangling somewhere inside me. that is NOT what I want.. all I wanted is to have a HAPPY life.

again, what is happy?

happy for me is I have someone to share with, I have something to be proud of, I have someone to be thank to, I have PURPOSE... etc..
the only thing that is probably really bothering me right now is I need someone to share. whatever that person is.. wherever.. and somehow because of my attitude or something, I've lost the person I cared about. this makes me feel neglected, abandoned and hurt. and that person probably doesn't know it at all. or?

My life has been amazing recently, I have wonderful friends, I have such caring families, I have 2 wonderful weird dogs, I have a home, I have a kosan (a cozy one), I have a school, I have some kind of well normal life. or is it? a question that I wonder. normal for me is like not enough, I want some challenge but when I face that challenge, I back down. I don't know, am I too scared or afraid to have such big responsibility? or I just wanna lay down in my safe zone.

this safe zone is actually not save at all for people. they think they have the right spot. well the safe and the right is not safe and right at all. they STUCK and they DIE. rotten with all the stuff they called 'sini-sini aja deh gue' or whatever it is. you might think that is safe? well if you wanna die fast and living like you have no purpose, its your CHOICE.

and I have a choice, I have a responsibility to work on and I KNOW what is important and what is not. my life pretty much complicated right now, if yours not, well, you might think your life is perfect. fuck with the perfection, its just your imagination that perfection is existed.. nothing is perfect. but trying to, well that exists.

what choices I have? what choices of life I have? I'm not getting younger, I will rotten if I don't make the right choice to achieve the perfection.. the word 'achive' is underlined here.

I have a choice to be HAPPY.
and the fact that my life is not happy, well, I have to find ways to get to it. GET BUSY is the right answer..
get move around, get some new experiences that not make a burden out of me, get someone.. hahaha.


do you think you have a life? think about it..




*wonderouslifeofadreamer

Komentar

Posting Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Everyone is EQUAL #LoveWins #CelebrateFreedom

My parents taught me that being a person need to have a our own principals, to be our self and be respectful to others.  Right now, I am doing it. I have my own principals when it comes to animal rights and human rights. And most of you will have your own rights to disagree and close my blog after you see the title above. OR, maybe you are curious and continue to read. I suggest that you choose from your heart. I respect and appreciate differences. My mother also told me that differences are meant to be understood. So, I discover the world where people has to be themselves and to make differences for their lives to affect others.  I am proud to say that I respect queer people and thrilled that they have the right to get married, in the US, 50 states has been legalized gay marriage by The Supreme Court.  Why? Let's just say that the world is about finding your way towards equality. Yes. You had to remember when Martin Luther King freed African-American f...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

There's Something About Succeeding

"No, I'm not color blind I know the world is black and white Try to keep an open mind but I just can't sleep on this tonight Stop this train I wanna get off and go home again I can't take the speed it's moving in I know I can't But, honestly, won't someone stop this train? ..." Stop This Train Song by: John Mayer  (I recommend to check the full lyric:  http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/johnmayer/stopthistrain.html )  This song has been played multiple times recently by me. I was breaking down the intro about Mayer being all worried about what he was going through and felt fed up with the world he was dealing with. Though he had wonderful and successful years of carrier as a musician, he was just wanted to stop by getting off the train. Like, not literally.     I just had this wonderful conversation with my dear friend, Rara. She's one of my closest friend. She's amazing also a dedicated per...
2 komentar
Baca selengkapnya

kanemura fever!

oooh MG, i just lost of words here. because i'm in love with this awsome, wicked dancer on so you think you can dance , season 4 .. he was supppperrrrrrrr freak and i LOVE him totally. he's the most different person as a dancer and pretty creative, unlike any other dancer, he's just stick to he's own unique idea of dancing.. not only that he's super CUTE! FUNNY, ENTERTAINING, HANDSOME, AND again, WICKED!! aaawww i LOVE HIM TO MUCH!! he has this perfect nose that i adore so much, and his super handsome jaw.. okaay the thing is that he's AMAZING.. i realize soon that he LOVE LADY GAGA ! since then i love LADY GAGA'S music and recently love ALEJANDRO.. and MARK KANEMURA is the perfect picture of ALEJANDRO , i'm too young and he's too HOT. hahaha. i respect he's dancing. i saw when he first audition at SYTYCD season 4 and I thought that he was long way to go to a place called FAME. and now he's famous with LADY GAGA singing in front of him, and...
2 komentar
Baca selengkapnya