"No, I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
but I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But, honestly, won't someone stop this train?
Stop This Train
Song by: John Mayer
(I recommend to check the full lyric: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/johnmayer/stopthistrain.html )
This song has been played multiple times recently by me. I was breaking down the intro about Mayer being all worried about what he was going through and felt fed up with the world he was dealing with. Though he had wonderful and successful years of carrier as a musician, he was just wanted to stop by getting off the train. Like, not literally.
I just had this wonderful conversation with my dear friend, Rara. She's one of my closest friend. She's amazing also a dedicated person. We had a conversation about what's going on with our recent life since we've graduated. Conversation that is typical but also very deep within the context that any 20-somethin' is having right now. Anyway, the global topic is about 'what we want and how we do it'.
One day there's a time when you owned your game and feeling like it's not going no where. It feels like hollow inside. And there's a part of you when you FINALLY know when you want to go and...doesn't know how. Life is a mystery when you are a perfect introvert kind of human being. An introvert tends to think about all aspects that is happening in your life. Sometimes is useful. It does gives you insights of everything (not all, actually). But then, too much voices telling and questioning from inside your head, you suddenly burst into confusion.
A part of getting older is getting your shit together. A part of getting older is also knowing who you are and knowing what you want and need in your life. A life goal is something many people hard to find but easy to get when you understand step by step with conscious mind and body. You have all the weapons you have prepared for years to draw a positive fight with the world.
You have planned to earn things with your total preparation. And when you get to fight to earn it, you just lost things along the way. You. Or maybe your skills (just to be specific). Suddenly you have this urge of getting those back because it's so precious, because those are parts of you.
The real world is harsh and mean and maybe doesn't care about you. You are the millennials, generation Y, the generation who just want to do anything you want and jumped from places to places just like the Divergent. Many of us are lost divergent, seeking through things one at a time with super fast paced and suddenly end-up super awesome or even end-up in the dessert. What are your goals, dear future leaders? We all are still figuring things out, and we cannot say that when you start from zero, it means that all the things you get from the previous experience will gone. No, it's the opposite. You are getting richer and richer. It will be applicable one day and not at once from that zero point. It's that one day you are so full of power and content with yourself. If you're not sure, maybe it's not your way. Every people has their own way to reach their goal. You, me, her, him? We are not the same.
Life is not risk free. Life is not being a perfect person so holy slash so cool you could differ yourself from people who doesn't not have that X factor you have. (see: Chanel Oberlin below)
Life is about unlocking yourself, well at least for me. Unlocking the truth is much harder than unlocking the world. In one process of life, there's a part of you is scared and seems like you can't get anywhere. Well yeah, it happens to all human being at their stage of life. The key to getting out of it is actually: get through it.
You want to know yourself, go for a journey that is so exhausting you actually wanted more. Succeeding is actually when you can fight your battle within yourself and then battle with others. We have to know that we can. Take time, a little or have many if you can. The answer will open for those who seek.
If you have to ask, you will never know. If you know, you need only ask.
- Helena Ravenclaw in Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows
|Harry and Ginny in front of The Room of Requirement|
in Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Pt.2 movie. Warner Bros Pictures.
"There's a place for you in this world. You have a part that making this world a balanced place" like Aloy Zalukhu said in Smart FM (local radio). This world is like a life-cycle. You start from the bottom, and then you will find your UP. Does anyone has to approve? So far, I don't give a damn about what others thinks. Yeas. Why do people have social medias? To be approved by people from their Likes or Comments or being Friend-ed? Hmmm.....maybe.... What about this blog? To be approved by others? Hmmm...not really. And this also not a self-help.
A lot going through in your heads, my friends. As an INTJ (google-up, guys), I find my true self with full of analytic shitty to reach my goal. Hopefully. So..... what about you? Let's find out!
Last but not least, listen to this:
"Heart, don't fail me now!
Courage, don't desert me!
Don't turn back now that we're here
People always say
Life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear!
Or how a road can seem so long
How the world can seem so vast...
Journey to The Past
Sing by: Aaliyah
Ost. Anastasia Motion Picture
P.S: Sorry for my pick of cursing GIFs. I love Scream Queens. Hehe.
Also, my grammar.
Also, my grammar.