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Rabu, 29 Februari 2012

running mind

it seems endless....
this is not a story
this is only a mind
who speaks everytime, whenever it wants
sometimes I can't catch the train inside my head

it keeps moving so fast
I can't even make it stop
than the thoughts flows to my mouth
as it come out to be a puzzle I cannot solve

it is chaosness inside my head
inside my brain
inside my soul
inside my solitary room

I have a room of my own
a space which only mind able to conceive
a space inside my heart
beating slower than my mind can count every tempo of my life

life is a memory
too much memory in just one mind
another chaos comes, but never goes
it stays

they never understand
I thought one could
but leave me in an unknown emptiness
without explanation

leave me

I've never felt so alone
alone in a running mind
it used to be fixed with only words
but now, it back to a normal chaos

hey, its just another chaos
everybody has it in their own house of mind
yes it is just another play for me to fixed it on my own
one day, one day

what day it will be?

they say I'm a joke
they don't know how I cried in pain
every single night
in a running mind

a litteral tears flew from my mind onto my cheeks
slowly dripped down to my ears
as I laid my head on my bed
caused my mind to run even faster


how can I stop?
when a body of mine couldn't
why it has to be you who can stop it?

who are you?
a mind? a soul? a ghost? haunted me for the rest of my life
questioning who and why...

running mind...
please stop
for the sake of my happiness, I have to erase the shoes you wore when you were running
blocking my mind from unnecessary problematics...

I know I failed, over and over again
but please let me try it again...


Kamis, 23 Februari 2012

nothing to post until I feel wanna post something (?)

rambling. that's what I love to do and really great at it. if there's too much inside my head, it feels like I wanna blow up inside me and burst into the salty sea (?) diving until I reaches the bottom. I used to do whatever I want without think clearly first. so it will turned out become a rambling stuff.
well,  tonight to be excact I'm nganggur..I should be doing my homework for studio tomorrow, instead I'm rambling in my blog listening to mayer, the police, robyn, oona and estelle.
oh yeah, recently (btw this one is not a ramble stuff) I've learn some new moves to take my team to dance competition in just a few weeks. the choreo is nuts and still going to continue..long way to go and my knees already hurts like hell. but hey its a new experience for me and surely really challengging for all of us. I was quiet surprise that the choreo was sooo out-reaching, for me, I don't know for the others. during the rehearsals I was a little bit keteteran because keep forgetting the moves. well, I kept trying...just concentrate while sweat dripping off my face.
it was fun but took a lot, wholesome energy....
soooo, well this turned out not to be a ramble hahaha. i dunno lah.. goodnight.


Senin, 20 Februari 2012

Tore My Heart routine.

I totally love this routine by Sonya Tayeh on So You Think You Can Dance Season 7 featuring Eleanore and Jakob. They both are fantastic dancers.
Also not only the routine which fascinates me, the melody of the song are sooo damn nice in rhythm.. like when you wanna step on the floor, Tango-ing with your enemy without hesitation.. Looking in the eye that 'you...know that you tore my heart!' just only saying..hahahaha.. somebody tored my heart? better watch out.. naah kidding :D

Tore My Heart by Oona
La la la la...

If I had my way
You would still be stuck on me
But when I rock myself to sleep
I dream of you again

La la la la...

You know you tore my heart, dear
Just when I always thought

La la la la...

Somewhere youre fast asleep
I hope youre terrified
One wild nightmare
Cause you tore my heart

I still feel your skin
Soft as velvet, thick as sin
Whisper tender, shiver deep
You got me good, no good for me

La la la la...

Somewhere youre fast asleep
I hope youre terrified
One long nightmare
Cause you tore my heart

Jumat, 03 Februari 2012

These Are Our Family Comedians!

Dogs in a neighbourhood I know, they are unwanted, most of them are because the excuse of those people who claimed themselves they have a religion. Muslims not suppose to have dogs in their homes or family, because they said that these are disgusting animal, what that they called hmm, najis.. well I think it because of they are dirty, if we don't bathed them..and their saliva brings any possible dangerous bacteria. those are facts.

but people who really have a religion are those who respects and love nature, not a man with his car hit a cat and not even just a slight to checked out that the cat was okay but he just ran away and shouted 'don't worry, I'm a Muslim!'. Is that ironic?? That's embarassing, in the name of my religion, he shouted just like that when the people over there shouted him to stop and should take his responsibility. Those people were mad and cursed that man...

I'm an animal lover, my whole family loves animal.. My grandparents, both sides (mom and dad), have their own experience in take caring dogs. They have they function, to guard their owner's home and bring the joy and happiness any human cannot have without their dogs presence. Dogs are full of joy with their stupid puppy faces, bitting your socks or your shoes, chewing all the stuff around them, jumping all around when you just came from school, accompanied you when no human can understand your situation, just cheer you up when you get sad, tease you to play with them, anddddd many more list I have to assure you that dogs are not only their annoying barkings and scary bitings...

I also have bad experience with dogs. When I was 3 years old, a female dog bit me while she was nursering her puppies. I was too close to her and try to pet her. She growled and bit me, that was my mother said to me. And then my own dog, new one, he's pretty mental. He bite and growls to any of us, even who's close to him, who's his own OWNER.. But I don't mad at him, he's just have to be educated that's all, that doesn't make me less care of animals..
They have pure hearts, they hurt you when they have to, to protect themselves. Those who doesn't like animals, have to questions themselves about their hearts..

I just don't like when people start to make sotoy and annoying questions why we (my family) have dogs.. I just get tired of them.. They have to read more books, movies, TVs, articles etc. about how dogs or cats change so many family's life and teaches us about life. Dogs or cats (i prefer dogs :D ) put their family together in one place, just to talk about their dog/s, and then they realize that is already a family quality time..

there are so many positive things you can have when you have an animal in your life comparing to how disgusting they are.. you just willing to sacrifice to achieve the step to a higher meaning of life... animals balances our life as a human on this earth. we are not live alone, we have duties to make our earth more peaceful. at least try, because you breath oxygen, you stand above ground, you drink water, you eat earth's offering and animal's meat, you live and then you die..

sooo not talking more about death, I'm going to show you my ultimate-annoying-troublemaker-joyous-barkers-and-bitters in the entire world.
and the funny thing is they howl whenever there is Adzan berkumandang around my neighbourhood... 'Allahuakbarr...' and my dogs goes 'auuuuwwwwwwwww...awrrrawrrr..auuu..'. They sing with the guy who does Adzan hahahahaha

weird dogs

Her name is CIKITA
(I used to call her Cipa, Cipita, Chiquitita, whateves...)

She likes to steal our sandals or shoes or even a leave, anything to satisfied her mouth. If she really wanna play with you, she tease you with stealing someone else's or your shoes! She's a happy, jumpy, spoiled, whining dog who loves to chew anything. She made weird noises like i've never heard that kind of noise from a dog, ever (can u imagine what its like?? naah, no way..) She likes to burst into our house which we shouldn't be letting her in our house. She loves to run soooo fastttt, jump here and there and then she stopped gasping for air (making weird noise again, different one), like she has an asthma or somethin hahaha very funny to watch at the same time I feel really bad for her..mahahaha..
She's a very spoiled dog, loves to roll around and be petted, also, jump on your lap and marks her paw on your pants and shirt...arrggh that's pretty annoying...

His name is Ciko (Coco, Cipopo, Koh)He's the most dangerous dog I've ever met in my entire life. He's vicious, ferocious, and a biter! Behind those good looks, handsome, cute nose, cute puppy eyes, oooww, don't be fooled by them, because from far away, if he doesn't know you, he'll bark ferociously. And scary but funny, I think that he's a bit mental, you know, unstable, moody dog, insecure. I have mom, dad and sister who take care of him kindly, but sometimes when he's in a bad mood and not trusting anyone, SNAP, he'll bite you, a sign of warning. and then growls you..
At first i was a little bit dissapointed at him because, he bite almost all of the people around my house (even a little kids, he hate kids, especially their laughter), we thought that he should be given away, took him to the animal shelter..But thank Go
d, my dad has already put his heart into Ciko and seeing him that he still have hope to stay with us.
After a year later, he gets better and better, even his moody is still going on, he growled unreasonably, but hey we still love him because he is making progress..
He's also a smart dog too, when its time to go to his cage, he'll get in..he's also patient too..he's just adorable to watch, just wanna cuddle him, but becareful, he'll growl hahahaha...

sorry for the bad spelling and English, bad at grammar haha :D