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semuanya kembali

segala kemungkinan terpapar di depan
seakan terbentang tanpa ada sesuatu tersembunyi
terbentang kian lebar
kemudian menutup kembali
semuanya kabur saat kabut menyelimutinya
atau memang sengaja?

aku hanya duduk dari kejauhan menatap semua yang ada di depanku
semuanya bisa saja ilusi mengaburkan pandangan
tapi saat melihat keberadaannya segalanya lebih cerah
seakan kabut yang menyelimutinya hilang seketika

tapi ia menghindar dengan menciptakan kembali kabut itu
aku hanya dapat melihat secercah dirinya yang tersisa
aku hanya pasrah dari jauh
ingin segera melihatnya kembali membawa cahaya yang tidak pernah aku lihat

saat ia membuka kembali
aku tau
saat itu adalah segalanya yang aku inginkan
kehangatan cahaya

tapi aku tak tau apakah itu yang seharusnya
apakah aku salah
apakah seharusnya aku menjauh
apakah aku terjebak dalam ilusi cahayanya?

apakah aku mengkhayal?
yang ternyata semuanya bukanlah kenyataan seperti yang aku inginkan

cahaya tidak pernah berbohong
aku ingin cahaya itu kembali, setiap detik dalam hidupku
meski secara bersamaan membuatku sengsara karena terbakar
namun aku tak peduli...

karena jika semuanya kembali,
dunia akan lebih terselamatkan...


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The Way You Are

I've always been kind of person who thinks: in order to write, a good inspiring article or blog, is to seize the perfect moment to write. I really like to write when night comes. Night time is when I contemplate about lots of things in life. And then comes the moment when I have so many things in my mind, and I don't have the energy to do it. Sucks. 
Okay. So tonight is the night when I actually don't have the energy to write. 
I'm supposed to write about a story of some bad parts of my childhood. I've promised my friends that I wanted to tell her about that story, but, emmm, not a good time. Maybe later. Hehehe, procrastinator! 
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Recently, I am busy making myself as a Creative-preneur.  Wait, what, is creative-preneur?
Basically, is a creative person who becomes an entrepreneur, by making out of creativity as a weapon of entrepreneurship.  I actually made the unde…

The Unhappy Perfectionist

Today, I'll write a short post (or maybe not, we'll see). 

It's been a while since I've written anything. An article or even a diary (yes, I still keep my diary flowing). So, my language is about to get a little rough, hehe. 
I stumbled across this inspiring article in a small magazine called Intisari. My mom used to subscribe monthly. Today I read an article written by Alexander Sriewijono in a column, which I don't want to mention because's about Career. Well, yea, hello, insecurity anyone? 
Okay, so he is a Psychologist & a Founder of Daily Meaning. "The Perfect Imperfection" is an article that we all perfectionist can relate to.
A little backstory I want to tell you. All my life I have not been perfect, but naturally I am born-perfectionist. Among 4 temperaments they have, I'm the one who says "Has/Have to" and "This, cannot be this way." "You are so wrong."  and so on. I am Choleric-Sanguine. '…

There's Something About Succeeding

"No, I'm not color blind I know the world is black and white Try to keep an open mind but I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I wanna get off and go home again I can't take the speed it's moving in I know I can't
But, honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Stop This Train Song by: John Mayer 
(I recommend to check the full lyric:
This song has been played multiple times recently by me. I was breaking down the intro about Mayer being all worried about what he was going through and felt fed up with the world he was dealing with. Though he had wonderful and successful years of carrier as a musician, he was just wanted to stop by getting off the train. Like, not literally.    
I just had this wonderful conversation with my dear friend, Rara. She's one of my closest friend. She's amazing also a dedicated person. We had a conversation about what's going on with our recent l…